prayers for peace

When Bob married my Aunt Barb, I thought it'd be a long time before he felt like family to me. In my mind, I felt like my life had been so long that the time before I knew Bob would always be longer than the time since he came into our lives. Of course, I was wrong. I had no perspective.

I'm not really sure when the change in perspective occurred. Maybe it was when he always made time for me to get a beer at the Moose. Maybe it was his selfless giving to making Granny laugh. Maybe it was how he sent care packages to every one of my friends when they were deployed. Or that he continued to ask about how they were doing eight years later.

I know the change was so gradual that I never noticed. Family is like that. One day, your cousin is feeding you mud pies; the next, he's standing by your side, trying to cheer up the rest of the family as they try to make sense of the incomprehensible.

Bob wasn't all laughter and smiles. He came off a bit gruff when I was younger. As I came to realize over the years, he kidded the ones he loved. If he didn't like you, he wouldn't waste his breath. Just like most of my friends.

Hammerhead. Testa dura. Governor. Friend. Uncle. He passed away this afternoon after a fierce battle with cancer. Judging by the reactions of the rest of my family, I'm not the only one who's going to miss him.

saturday trip to the beauty shop

I haven't been posting here a whole lot lately. Most of what I've been doing has been behind the shutter. Not a whole lot more to report on that front besides share photos. Here's two of my grandma from this weekend. She hates the camera, but it's pretty easy to sneak a shot or two.

la nostra famiglia

Trying to learn how to get good shots of people. Here's a few from my NYC weekend earlier this month. Whatcha think?

crowns

From the opening lines of the play, I knew I was in for a better show than the other time I'd seen it. The play is called Crowns, and we went to see it at the Lincoln Theater on U Street on Friday night. To succinctly summarize it, it's a historical musical on the origins of women's hats in the black church. Having been to so few black churches in my lifetime, I had to take their word for it.

Every Sunday, when we went to church, Grandma always had on a beautiful hat.

"Mmmm, hmmm," rose the agreement from the audience. It was altogether entertaining and enlightening. The costumes were vibrant, the voices were incredible, and the production was top-notch. I guess that's the difference between the community theater production I saw in the park in St. Pete and this merry band of professional thespians we saw on Friday.

The play opened and closed with an old hymn called, ""When I've Done the Best I Can, I Want My Crown." In this simple hymn, it explains the title of the play beautifully. For the entirety of the play, that point is built upon. We see that the hats that these women wear to church are based in part on African tribal custom and slave history, as church was the only place that slaves were allowed to congregate. Do right by the Lord on earth, you'll be rewarded with a crown in heaven.

I've racked my brain trying to come up with a subject that would hit home as closely as it did for the mostly female audience. I felt a little kinship with the plot line of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Greek and Italian families aren't a whole lot different. Following our family reunion a few summers back, I saw just how true that could be. Perhaps My Big, Loud Italian Reunion? That's only a familial culture thing, though. This play clearly struck a chord that went beyond individual families. I could identify with some of the subject matter based on my years in Alachua County, but being white and male, I couldn't grasp the cultural significance of it beyond what the plot was.

It triggered a brief Florida memory in me. Otis, the head custodian at my old school, lost a family member (I think it was his mother, but I can't recall) a few years ago. I was one of three coworkers that went to her memorial service. It was a blistering hot day. The church was packed with people in their Sunday best, crowns included. Crowns illustrated why perfectly.

I need to start going to church again. Any local recommendations?

rub a dub dub

Two nights of great grub! I've found a new awesome place to eat. Ok, not really found, but I spent a bit more time there this weekend than most people would consider normal. Food's that good. It's called Astor Mediterranean. They have one in Adam's Morgan also that's been open longer. It's a little off the beaten path, but it's pretty easy to get to.

The service is fast and friendly. The food is delicious with large enough portions to satisfy me. Friday night, I was going to go for the lamb kabob. Ravi Kabob makes a pretty mean lamb kabob, and I figure Astor would be the same. When I got to the counter to order, the cashier politely pointed out the ribeye special. I caved. Good choice! Well seasoned, a little overdone for medium, but it was still moist and delicious. It came with two sides, rice and spicy chick peas. Also excellent. I was pretty hungry on Friday, too. My mom was in town, so the three of us split an order of baclava and rice pudding. The baclava is served to share. Very thick, dripping with honey, flaky phyllo dough. Incredible. The rice pudding was rich and creamy with raisins, cinnamons, and coconut shavings garnished.

She and I brought her friends there last night. The cashier recognized me, said hello, and quietly thanked me for bringing such a large group. The girls all ordered something different. Raves were given to the hummous, which for $3.50 is quite a steal! The girls all had leftovers for today. Me? I polished off a deliciously messy Mediterranean chicken pita. Not recommended for a first date as there is no way to eat it neatly. It is delicious though!

Go. Eat. Enjoy. You may just see me there.

big, loud italian dinner

Oh, how I miss them! Way back when the Sopranos were still on the air, back when I lived in my first college apartment (probably the most posh pad I lived in!), we made a weekly tradition of Sunday dinner. Brian bought The Sopranos cookbook and every so often, we'd make a recipe from it. From scratch gravy, chicken cacciatore, lasagna. One thing that was never in short supply was the good friends and flowing beverage. By the time 9:00 rolled around, HBO was a little bit blurry, our belts were a lot bit tighter, and a warm afterglow of a good night permeated the room.

I miss that camaraderie. I suppose that's why I try so hard for '80s movie night to be a success. It was initially, but trying to do it weekly in D.C. is a bit tough. Once a month is more doable for most, though the number of occasions with more than 4 attendees are few and far between.

Flash to tonight. Big, loud, Italian dinner resumes. I actually didn't have enough chairs. First time I've had that many over for dinner. What'd I make? My Pinch-of-this, Pinch-of-that Sauce over homemade gnocchi. Yeah, that's right. I made gnocchi from scratch. To be fair, I had 3 pairs of hand to shape them properly and cook them up right. For what occasion did we undertake this elaborate meal? Mom's in town.

Want the recipe? I learned it from my mom, who learned it from hers, who learned it from hers in turn. One of those, yeah.

Peel the potatoes, boil them. Put them through the potato ricer. Let them cool enough to handle. Knead with some flour. How much? Enough. Add an egg to bind them. Roll the dough out on a floured surface, and cut them into knuckle-sized morsels. Drop them individually into boiling water. They're done when they float. Sauce 'em and serve 'em. Mangia!

Notice how that recipe doesn't really have quantities? Yeah, that's how I learned it, and that's how I remember it. Just like polenta. But that's another day, another meal.

must be genetic or something

Starting from a young age, I was in a classroom. Not so much as a student, more as a teacher's assistant. Sure, I went to school just like the other kids, but I had teacher workday duty when the rest of my friends were at home watching the Dukes of Hazzard. From a very young age, I learned that teachers bust their humps and bring work home and worry about their students long after the dismissal bell rings. As I progressed in school myself, my involvement in other school functions grew. I began tutoring. Turns out I was pretty good at it. Summers found me volunteering in classrooms of schools nearby, helping English language learners learn basic vocabulary and skills in kindergarten.

When my path to a life of leisure as a forester, riding around in a pickup truck on backcountry roads, measuring trees and such, ended because of some difficulty with entry-level science classes, it was little wonder that I found myself at Norman Hall, surrounded by pretty coeds obsessed with bulletin boards and rubber cement. Again, turns out I'm pretty good at it.Yet again, I figured out why. It's genetic. Mom just won teacher of the year...again. I've said it before, and it bears repeating. If I'm only half the teacher that my mother is, I'll still be one hell of an educator.

Congratulations, Ma!

wisdom of the sages

Sage generally implies that someone is aged and has gathered much wisdom in their many years on the earth. I have no idea how long Anne Applebaum has been roaming this sphere, but she's got some pretty good thoughts about weather and extremes. I wasn't sure where she was going beyond making fun of Londoners and Washingtonians, but she sure hit the nail on the head with her take on perspective.

This winter has been one of getting it from both sides of the aisle in my family. My mother on the southern end, complaining it's too cold; me laughing because above freezing is turning balmy in my perception. My aunt on the northern side, asking me if it's cold enough yet. I'd say that I'm dealing with the extremes of this winter pretty well. At least for a Florida boy, my blood is thickening up quite nicely with the antifreeze. Sure, I wish we had more snow, but we have been blessed with some gorgeous sunny days this year. A stark contrast from last year's cold, rainy, London-esque days for sure!

I just hope when summer rolls around again, I haven't lost my Florida tolerance for heat and humidity. My perspective, it barely gets to hot 'round here...

enough

don't know if i'd received this email before, but it's a good one. i wish you enough in the new year.

Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged, and the mother said, 'I love you, and I wish you enough.'

The daughter replied, 'Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom.'

They kissed, and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy, but she welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'

Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?'

'I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead, and the reality is - her next trip back will be for my funeral,' she said.

'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?'

She began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.' She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and she smiled even more. 'When we said, 'I wish you enough,' we wanted the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.'

Then, turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.


I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

Then, she began to cry, and walked away.

They say, it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but an entire life to forget them.

whirlwinded

on a day when i was worn out from a weekend of running around and cooking and cleaning nonstop, mother nature fittingly gave me a day to relax. what would i have done had the weather been glorious as the three prior? drove three hours one way to west virginia to climb rocks, no doubt.

voicemails at 11:30 on a school day are rarely good news. "mr. j, your glockenspiel is broken in your transaxle filter. there's also a unicorn jumping around in your muffler that has punched several holes in your catalytic converter. this fix will cost you your left arm and your firstborn daughter." imagine my surprise when it turned out to be my parents on an earlier flight. e.t.a. 2:30, four and a half hours of cleaning time ahead of schedule. oh, well. guess ma will just have to see my apartment at its finest!

weekend couldn't have been better. i tried too hard to get them out of the house and doing stuff around this bewitching beltway town. we traipsed around woodley park, walking to the national cathedral. we visited with family in rockville. we watched college gameday and took in a few exhibits at the american art museum/portrait gallery. there were a few wicked cool new exhibits, and i got to feel like an art expert walking around one i'd already seen. "the juxtaposition of this adams photograph plays quite nicely off o'keefe's muted colors and use of the same subject in middle-of-nowhere, new mexico, don't you agree?" [insert haughty brahmin laugh]

best of all was that little holiday they came up here for. the meal was better than last year, even if my stuffing didn't all make it into the oven. it was about family and gratefulness for another great year gone by. things to be thankful for in the upcoming year; i just can't wait to see how they pile up.

thanksgiving, succinctly

never really knowing much of a blessing growing up, i picked up two along the way. succinct though they were, they've stuck with me since the first time i went to philmont at the age of 14, or since my last meal at ye olde delta shelter. the only thing that these two leave out is the ever-present love in all of our lives, be it from family, friends, or that special someone we've been lucky enough to find.

first, philmont.

for food, for raiment, for life, for opportunity, for friendship and fellowship, we thank thee, O Lord. Amen.

i think that one is still in my brain because i used to say it to myself before every meal that i didn't eat at the delt house in college. that one didn't lend itself very well to solo recitation. it needs the voices of about 50 guys

Creator, we bow our heads,
grateful for life and this daily bread.
Help us contribute to all human good,
out of our Delta BROTHERHOOD.

can you guess which word we stressed in a louder, whiter version of barry white? happy thanksgiving to you and yours. may your blessings be numerous and your woes be few!

gettin' on down the road...

this figures to by my summer road trip finale. it promises to be a short one, not like last year's I-95 windsprints, or the mind-numbing boredom of I-65 through indiana. with gas prices getting into the stratosphere, $4 gas adds up to quite a bit more than a plane ticket. i'm excited to see my friends in other towns from behind the wheel of my geriatric pickup, but 23 mpg is going to squeeze my wallet.

before i wander off randomly, here's what it's looking like. wednesday departure from the district. wednesday night arrival in jacksonville to see the reunited mikes and relive some 5622 g&t goodness. thursday departure to gainesville. random, olde tyme fun in my recent favored overgrown small town. friday departure to visit the folks for mom's birthday brouhaha. saturday she flies in, we get to spend time with my family. she leaves on monday. i leave on friday. back to jacksonville for some waves and rays and ill-fated surfing lessons(?) and more g&t. then back on up to the district for the end of june month and a woman that loves me moving to less than a mile away.

so, back to this road warrior status. it's going into retirement. a new(er) car is a certainty this summer. i just hope that the danger ranger makes at least half of the trip. i've got a road bike in the shop that should get me from point a to point b quite nicely. perhaps i'll figure out the safest route to school that may turn into, "where's a closer school so i can forgo this whole commuting-by-car nonsense?" carpooling to work is a viable option too, with two coworkers within county limits and both on my current gas-guzzling commute.

ch-ch-ch-changes...

big family

this summer, there was a family reunion of epic proportions. think charter bus-sized. the italian cousins on my mom's side of the family gathered for the biggest reunion yet. fifty or so of us, many of whom we barely knew, but apparently had a lot in common with. i can count on one hand the number of times i remember all of my grandmother's brood being in one place at the same time. all the grandkids, aunts and uncles, and that only makes 15 of us...

back to the reunion at hand. it felt like rush week more or less. meet and greet the cousins i'd either never met, or seen so rarely that they seemed more like strangers than family. by the end of the weekend, renewed vows, especially from the 30ish and under crowd, to reunite more often. the after dark bonding over flying solo cups and early morning headaches proved how alike we all were!

to our defense, i think we've done a better job this year than many past. i'm not so sure the big family gathering that came together this weekend for shila's performance would have happened if it weren't for the reunion this summer. her immediate family, sure. her aunt and cousin, sure. the new york contingent? doubtful. the philly contingent? doubtful. me? doubly doubtful.

a lot has changed in the last year. the family is closer. i understand my italian family tree better. my extended family is nearer, though my parents are considerably further away. it's much harder to visit home on a whim. that four hour drive now results in family that may well have been strangers to me twelve months ago. i'd like to blame it wholly on the reunion in ebensburg, but something else is at play here. the new adventurous attitude i struck out to nurture in myself at the beginning of '07 has taken root.

i thought i was leaving home when i left gainesville. turns out going big results in carving out a new home. i'm still working on it, slowly but surely...

big culture

the first of three installments recounting this weekend's journey to the big apple. the big city culture aspect of the trip was great. on saturday, when she and i got off the train at grand central station, we took a big walk to the metropolitan museum of art. as with the larger art museums i've been to, the grand scale of the building awed me immediately. the entrance foyer with its high domed ceiling and columns and elaborate floors set the tone for what turned out to be a pretty awesome whirlwind tour.

she and i wound through the egyptian exhibits, getting lost in its labyrinthine display cases and larger-than-life artifacts in our search for the stairs down to the first exhibit she wanted to see, a constantly changing fashion exhibit recommended by my cousin. being the fashion maven in this relationship, she was not disappointed. visually, i enjoyed the exhibit, but the history was lost on me. she related it to a book she'd just read, the other bolyn girl, and its mention of the women in the queen's court who were charged with keeping conversation going and looking pretty. few men's clothes were found in this part of the exhibit. i did recognize some of the designer names, but they were the couture designs that you often only see on fashion runways.

following that exhibit, i found myself disappointed with the scale of the photography collection. it was part of a larger group of prints and drawings, but after seeing the annie liebowitz and ansel adams exhibits at the corcoran in d.c., i was a little tired of typical landscape photos. there were a total of five prints that didn't fall into that category. one held my interest for a few minutes, a gruesome shot of a head in a cake box crime scene. it had an interesting vantage point and disinterested expressions on the faces of the police detectives working the case.

we quickly found ourselves searching for something different, winding up with the europeans. picasso, van gogh, seurat, matisse, and others practically wallpapered several rooms in the collection. it was breathtaking to see the pointillism up close and personal. the tour guides filtering through were both insightful and annoying with their basic observational instructions for their groups. their tones echoed in the large space, and the hipster/scenester kids in the groups added to the already loud din with bad acoustics. we tried our best, but had trouble outrunning them until we stumbled downstairs through modern art to the american classics.

never seeing georgia o'keefe up close and personal before, i really dug her immense detail and bold colors. the depth of field of her canvases were almost three dimensional. people watching while breathing in the beauty gave a few chuckles with the cast of characters stumbling around us. the disinterested old man and his flitting wife. the french tourists. the asian dancers. everyone with their cameras trying to take pictures on the sly of the works, while i tried to capture their reactions to said works as they shuffled past.

labyrinthing out, it took far longer than expected. on a brighter note, we did happen past some very bright rooms and heavy armor in the medieval exhibits.

after drinks and appetizers later on, we caught my cousin's performance in chelsea at the small joyce theater. i had not a clue what i was going to see. modern dance meant nothing more to me than ballet, much as a non-teacher wouldn't see the distinction between whole language versus phonemic reading instruction. what i got was a visual spectacle that i absolutely loved. from my sixth row seat in the 500-or-so seat theater, i barely blinked throughout the whole performance. there were three distinct pieces, each with different costumes and feel. modern dance, i came to realize is quite an expression of fluid movement. i appreciated it for that element, much in the same way that i enjoy watching great climbers style their way up routes or tough boulder problems. unlike climbing however, i have no basis to mimic any of the movements, except for what i recognized as strong body control and awareness of movement from practice in yoga. the feet of the dancers made nary a sound as they leapt and stomped and effortlessly glided through the performance. the first piece was my favorite. it was a comical take on a guy picking up a girl on the beach. the background beats were french hip hop with lyrics of, "je ne sais pas porquoi." the next two pieces were equally as pleasing, though i have a little more difficulty explaining what i saw. if i had to guess, this modern dance thing had elements of ballet, yoga, pilates, kickboxing, hip hop, belly dancing, break dancing, and various other lava lamp fluidity and flow. [check out what the new york times thought of it.]

all in all, i feel quite a bit more cultured. perhaps i'll see some more dance somewhere around here...

not many bigger...

going big is what this weekend will be all about.

big city new york. not too many bigger. fourth largest in the world, behind tokyo, mexico city, and sao paolo.

big sandwiches. i hear that the carnegie deli serves the biggest sandwiches i've ever seen. a pound of meat on them. i should be surprised if i can eat the whole thing. they did something wrong if i can. we'll see. i have put down an entire 12 inch laspada's sub before. you south floridians know how big and heavy they are!

big family. fourteen of my cousins will be there. we're staying with five of them, one of them is dancing, six of them coming from florida, two from philly.

big milestone. well, for me anyhow. six months. the time's just flown by, filled with big memories and big words and big smiles.

big pictures and stories to follow.

perspective

pardon my french, but yesterday sucked. gray, cloudy skies. two meltdowns by my favorite 8 year-old. a perceived crisis explained to me ad nauseum about one of my students...a "crisis" in name only, i was let in on it 2 months ago by his mother. my heart breaks for the poor guy, i can relate to some of his troubles for sure, but i don't need to hear about it twice from other people in the school who never see him. oil change that took three and a half hours. blah blah blah. you get the point. it's over and done with, and as i recount it, i can feel my pulse and blood pressure rising...

this morning, much more sunshine. i'm feeling better. life put me in my place at school. one of my teammates' fathers is suffering with lung cancer. she's absolutely beside herself with grief and indecision. my minor issues yesterday don't mean shit. a moment of clarity yet again. yet another person in my life dealing with cancer. yet another plea for prayers, not only for her father, but for her peace of mind in doing what she needs to do. for her family, not for her students. to be selfish and cope with this difficult time in her life.

prayers

not a week goes by that i don't hear some bad news about someone's parents. used to be my friends whose parents were considerably older than mine. now it's shifted to moms and dads that are the same age or younger than my own. i'm blessed that they're both in reasonably good health for the ages of [section redacted for personal security purposes]. just another one of those consequences of growing up, i guess.

just a quick request for prayers for those friends of mine whose parents or other close family members aren't in great health, or recovering from an illness or accident. i won't explicitly name them here. the big guy in the sky will know who you're talking about. and if you're lucky like me, say a quick one to thank Him (or her, or them, whatever your beliefs are!) for that blessing.

much love to you and yours.

friend love

for the first time in a while, i feel like the effort i'm making to stay connected to my friends and family is paying off. for the past two nights, everyone that has said they were going to call me back has kept their word and talked my ear off. twenty minutes here and there, or an hour plus with relatives not heard from in months.

the really strange part is that some of these conversations are deeper than i ever had with some friends before i moved away. so let me get this straight: i got closer to my friends by moving away? who'd'a thunk it?

weird.