traffic woes

I know, not so exciting. On my road trips in years past, I never had to worry too much about traffic. Just avoid Atlanta's rush hour, and we were set. Nowadays, DC's rush hour impacts travel plans too much. Tie ups can occur for insignificant reasons.

Recently, I've begun compiling a list of things I want to see at the beginning of a traffic tie up to justify my extra time in the car.

1) Any accident between a clown car and a busload of nuns. Clowns acting silly and nuns scratching their heads as traffic creeps by single file.

2) A 47 car pileup in which no one gets hurt. All drivers and passengers breathing a collective sigh of relief as their payloads of rubber chickens and bubble gum are strewn across the blacktop.

3) A minor fender bender(as is more often the case). Both drivers, mad as hell, get out of their cars and conveniently have either Hulk fist boxing gloves or sumo suits, and go at it on the shoulder. Now that's cause for rubbernecking!

As you sit in traffic this week, think of something comical and laugh instead of stew. In the comments, what would ease your frustration in a typical Beltway traffic tie up?

oncoming headlights

I do stupid things sometimes. Things that jeopardize life and limb. More often latter than former, but that's beside the point. Despite all the things I've done in the past, I rarely get an injury that can't be treated with ibuprofen.

Rock climbing. Snowboarding. Jaywalking in D.C. Biking on M Street. Driving on New Year's Eve. Passenger of a not-so-stellar driver.

Last night, it almost came crashing down doing something so routine that the sheer absurdity of it took almost 24 hours to sink in. We were on a late night drive to a hotel for an early morning start snowboarding at Wisp in western Maryland. It was about 10:30; no later than other long distance, late night trips I've taken to get to the crag. (Rolling into Grandfather Mountain in North Carolina past the witching hour comes to mind.) Barreling down I-68, getting close to our trip terminus, I saw headlights ahead. I didn't think anything of it until I passed them.

Those oncoming headlights were on my side of the median in the left-hand lane. Going the wrong way. The car seemed as if it were standing still, but that must've been because of our highway speed. Not knowing the number for Maryland Highway Patrol, we called 911. We gave the mile marker, and prayed the cops would show up quickly.

Riding back today, licking my normal snowboarding wounds, I reflected on what had happened. I'm more shaken up about it now than I was then. There would have been no walking away from that crash...

Will it make me more cautious in my dangerous pursuits? Possible, but unlikely. Will it keep me from driving at night? Not a chance. I'm not real sure of the effect it will take, but judging from my past, it's going to rattle around in my brain for a little while before I figure it out.

public transportation

Back before I bought the danger Ranger, I occasionally took the bus to the mall in Gainesville. Rarely at best, but every so often, I'd need something that wasn't at any stores within walking distance of campus. So, I'd hop on the number 20 out to the Oaks Mall, wander around for an hour or so, and hop back on to get back to my dorm. I never had any need to figure out the schedule or the route for that matter. There weren't a whole lot of choices and the trip was short. Worse came to worse, I could call a friend to (maybe) pick me up. Beyond that and a rare Later Gator trip, I was not really savvy on public transit.

D.C.'s Metro system is my preferred mode of transport into the city. If I need to drive somewhere that Metro doesn't reach, it's a rare, special occasion. I know there's much to see in the District that is not accessible underground, but convenience is convenience. I could walk to the station, to my destination and back again. Since moving to Falls Church, I have a longer walk and a longer trip on the train. To get other places faster, I've begun trying to figure out the bus schedules nearby.

Mind you, my use of the bus is not a necessity. I rarely have cause to need public transportation since I have a live-in designated driver for those late nights or early happy hours. This summer, it's been more of something to do, just in case I need to one day.

Well, the past two weeks have been a "need to" situation. My folks borrowed my car for 2 weeks. Last year, it would not have been as big a deal. I was able to ride my bike, walking was an easier option comparatively. My fruitless PT appointments were in the District and easily Metro accessible. This year's chiropractor appointments are about three miles from the nearest Metro station and two bus transfers away if I go that route. Today, it took me almost 2 hours to get there. Afterwards, I had to wait for close to an hour to catch a bus that didn't even take me to the Metro line.

I have trouble accepting it because I have other options. Some of my fellow bus riders likely have no other option. Waiting for the bus is a fact of life for them. With no car and a need to earn a living, what other options are there outside of the reach of Metro and walking beyond the realm of possibility? People wonder why Americans don't use public transit. When you factor buses into it, it's horribly slow and time-consuming. I spent over four hours on various forms today to travel 20 miles or so. When I have the option to drive and save three of those hours for cooking a good meal, going to the gym, or taking some pictures, what am I going to choose?

Until we as a nation, state, or community decide to live where we work and make public transit more convenient by proximity, we're stuck with what we've got. Fortunately, I get my car back on Monday and will probably forget about it until I need to hop on a bus again.

idiot magnet

not sure if this only happens to me, but you ever feel like everyone else on the road is distracted and out to get you with their negligence? i liken it to an idiot magnet. i'd love to know where the switch is for mine; it was clearly on high power this afternoon on my drive home.

in my pocket at chipotle with the lack of customer service. "hi. i'm in line. i don't care about your phone-in orders or internet orders. i walked in the door instead of sitting on my fat ass to order a 1,000 calorie bomb of deliciousness." perhaps it's in my cell phone...

from when i dropped casey off after work, what takes 3 minutes some days took about 20 today. people who need a turn signal not using it. people who don't need one leaving it on for miles and miles. cabbies that ignore every conceivable traffic law. extra traffic that i ain't used to, even for a friday.

one thing's for certain. there's no way in hell i'm getting back in my car tonight. anyone got the schematic for my car? please label the idiot magnet for me with instructions on how to turn it off. okthanks.

gettin' on down the road...

this figures to by my summer road trip finale. it promises to be a short one, not like last year's I-95 windsprints, or the mind-numbing boredom of I-65 through indiana. with gas prices getting into the stratosphere, $4 gas adds up to quite a bit more than a plane ticket. i'm excited to see my friends in other towns from behind the wheel of my geriatric pickup, but 23 mpg is going to squeeze my wallet.

before i wander off randomly, here's what it's looking like. wednesday departure from the district. wednesday night arrival in jacksonville to see the reunited mikes and relive some 5622 g&t goodness. thursday departure to gainesville. random, olde tyme fun in my recent favored overgrown small town. friday departure to visit the folks for mom's birthday brouhaha. saturday she flies in, we get to spend time with my family. she leaves on monday. i leave on friday. back to jacksonville for some waves and rays and ill-fated surfing lessons(?) and more g&t. then back on up to the district for the end of june month and a woman that loves me moving to less than a mile away.

so, back to this road warrior status. it's going into retirement. a new(er) car is a certainty this summer. i just hope that the danger ranger makes at least half of the trip. i've got a road bike in the shop that should get me from point a to point b quite nicely. perhaps i'll figure out the safest route to school that may turn into, "where's a closer school so i can forgo this whole commuting-by-car nonsense?" carpooling to work is a viable option too, with two coworkers within county limits and both on my current gas-guzzling commute.

ch-ch-ch-changes...

a comedy of errors, friday edition

i'm taking monday off. sort of. i have a literal mountain of paperwork to take care of before wednesday next week. i'm not kidding when i say that it's a foot high. report cards and the like will plague me all day. as such, i had to plan for a substitute for monday as well. that done, i left work far too late. i soon found out why this was a bad idea for the friday afternoon commute.

1) i missed the doo on dc101. often silly and random, the drive home dj plucks a song from the radio's library that used to be big and doesn't get airplay anymore, or occasionally drops some rockin' new jams on us. i've missed it most of this week somehow, just a symptom of this time of year.

2) not far from school, sitting at a traffic light, a bubbly woman in a toyota corolla got on the gas a little too eagerly when it turned green and rear-ended me. she got the worst of it, grill and hood dinged with some white paint. last time that happened, a 16 year-old in daddy's cadillac got the scare of his life. same disposition. also a maroon car. honestly, as much traffic as there is around here, i'm surprised it hasn't happened until now.

3) bumper to bumper on 395. radio said the accident was cleared up an hour ago. delays persisted. for ten miles. i jumped off first chance i got and explored.

4) a bit of luck on my side, i finagled my way to a road i recognized. i wound up sitting at a light about a mile from my house. while police cruiser after cruiser came tearing through the intersection, lights on, sirens wailing.

you know, if i had any sense about me, i'd lock the deadbolt, chain the door, and stay in for the weekend. but i don't. i'm just gonna laugh about this, shrug it off, and hope my driving luck doesn't result in a one hour commute home ever again!

i've been everywhere, man...

i've been everywhere, man; crossed the deserts bare, man; i've breathed the mountain air, man; travel - i've had my share, man; i've been everywhere.

florida, georgia, tennessee, kentucky, indiana, ohio, michigan, illinois, missouri, kansas, colorado, wyoming, utah, nevada, california, arizona, new mexico, texas, louisiana, mississippi, alabama, south carolina, north carolina, virginia, west virginia, maryland, pennsylvania, new jersey, new york, delaware, connecticut, rhode island. later today, massachusetts. unless i miss my count, that's 33 states in all. and ontario in my only foreign excursion. all from the captain's seat of my truck.

yesterday was the most expensive drives, toll-wise, that i've had. per mile cost, only the pennsylvania and kansas turnpikes even come close. a lincoln here, a hamilton there. 400 miles and change came out to about $30 in tolls. it's all those damn bridges and tunnels along the way.

i loaded up the mp3 player with one song from every artist i wanted to listen to and the battery held out for the trip. too bad i forgot my charger. even driving across the bronx, i know why new yorkers spurn cars. even on a sunday morning, it was stop and go. the coastline scenery once i got into connecticut and rhode island was pretty awesome. unlike anything i've seen since being on the pacific coast highway near san diego or on seven mile drive in monterrey. once it stopped raining, it was pretty nice to open the back window and let the cool air trickle into the cab. i'm beginning to long more and more for responsive handling and peppy acceleration, but i think my truck's brain knows when highway on-ramp acceleration is needed. even in her old age, she does alright. i just wish she performed as well on long inclines.

off to boston for st. patty's. may the road rise up to meet you. may the wind always be at your back. may the sun shine warm upon your face, and rains fall soft upon your fields. and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

iced out

weather turned foul. welcome to the dmv in the winter. snow? nah! freezing rain? oh yeah!!!

after scraping a quarter-inch or so of ice off my windshield (that'd accumulated in less than 2 hours), i pulled out of the parking lot on wet roads. no ice on the roads on my way to the polls before they closed. uh oh. my on ramp to 395 was closed. ice on the overpass. stuck in bumper to bumper, trying to get my bearings. (sidenote: roadmap needed badly!). popped a u-turn and got on the interstate a different way.

behind a short bus, wondering why it's pulling off to the shoulder so soon after getting on. i try to pass, and i realize why. it wasn't pulling over, it was drifting on the sheet of ice on the bridge i didn't realize i was on. my rear wheels spun quickly and i started drifting (thankfully) away from the bus. flashers on, i stayed in second for a mile or two and got more comfortable that the roads were only wet, though the bridges had black ice. as was the case in florida, i'm not concerned about my driving. it's the other wackos that concern me. (yes, I know by that wording, i admit to being a wacko myself!)

traffic report took 5 minutes to inform us unlucky commuters of the tie-ups and snarls. many highways were literally parking lots. engines off, lights off, people out of their cars, however briefly. it took me an hour to get home.

getting out of my truck at the polls, damned if i didn't almost break my neck on some black ice! i'm staying in tonight...

delayed, round two

without christmas shopping to do, i'm busy killing time until i have to leave for work. traffic news is a mess. overturned vehicles everywhere. accidents on my route to work. hopefully the black ice will melt by the time i have to leave.

(for my loyal florida readers, black ice is quite possibly the most treacherous road condition i have ever come across. yes, including s. fla. flooding. with flooding, you go slow, but you don't lose control. black ice occurs when the roads are wet and the temperature drops slowly to below freezing. the water on the roads and sidewalks freezes from the ground up, leaving a thin layer of water on top of already slick ice. think cooking oil on a tile floor wearing bowling shoes. marbles on a bowling lane wearing roller skates. as the boys down south say, slicker than snot on a doorknob. i was first humbled by black ice in indy super bowl sunday 7 years ago. pulled into a parking lot full of it, going five mph. back end of my truck started coming around...and there is absolutely nothing you can do to stop the slide short of aiming for a bush.)

shifted

running late this morning, i sat at an intersection less than a mile from my school. as late as i was, there was a police officer directing traffic at this four-way stop instead of the normal crossing guard with nothing to do. that's twice this week that i've been running that late.

in any event, there were a lot of cars today. one car away from making it through the intersection, two motorcycle cops cruise up, sirens blaring and stop in the intersection. i correctly assumed that they were the lead bikes for a motorcade. and what a motorcade it was! 10 plus bikes, several cruisers, an unmarked crown victoria, and an suv. going through my head: what self important politician is dropping his kid off at school and wasting tax dollars?

long story short, i came to find out that it was actually a granted wish through the make-a-wish foundation. that was the wish of a sick girl who's a student at the school a mile or so from my own, to be delivered to school one day in a motorcade. boy, did i feel like an ass for my impatience in that traffic!

(sidenote: here i sit finally watching today's jeopardy on DVR. one of the contestants works for make-a-wish. in d.c. she interviews the children to find out what their wish would be. i bet she knows the girl who got her wish today. random!)