random movie quotes, halloween edition

we decided to watch the cheesy 80s slasher flicks, in honor of all hallow's eve. all the movies we weren't allowed to watch back when we were kids. understandably so because they would've scared the pants off us!

1) "I just asked you to do one thing, to stay awake and watch me and to wake me up if it looked like I was having a bad dream, and what did you do, you shit?"

2) "Did you know a young boy drowned the year before those two others were killed? The counselors weren't paying any attention... They were making love while that young boy drowned. His name was..."

3) "I met this six-year-old child, with this blank, pale, emotionless face and, the blackest eyes... the devil's eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply...evil."

random movie quotes IV

it's been a while. there's been a lot of movies added to my brain in the past few weeks. i upped the netflix account to two-at-a-time, went to four out of five screen on the greens this summer, and managed to hit a few new movies in the theater. oh, and then there's 80s movie night madness. the top 5 list. i'll make them short.

1) "Bastian made many other wishes, and had many other amazing adventures - before he finally returned to the ordinary world. But that's... another story."

2) "...you know a lot more about planes than guns. That's a Smith and Wesson 45, and if you fire at me at this close range, the bullet will pass through me and the fuselage like a blowtorch through butter. The cabin will depressurize, and we'll both be sucked into outer space together. If that's how you want to enter the United States, you're welcome. As for me, I prefer the easy way."

3) "Now look. The Post: "It Flies." The News: "Look, Ma, No Wires." The Times: "Blue Bomb Buzzes Metropolis." The Planet. We're sitting on top of the story of the century here! I want the name of this flying whatchamacallit to go with the Daily Planet like bacon and eggs, franks and beans, death and taxes, politics and corruption."

4) "A UFO landed in my pool and they captured me but we made friends and I fed them Pop-Tarts and they're here now but Ted's coming home tonight so we've got to cut their hair."

5) "For a gallon of elderberry wine, I take one teaspoon full of arsenic, then add half a teaspoon full of strychnine, and then just a pinch of cyanide."

american beauty

i don't know what it is lately. the photographer's eye growing within me. the change of scenery. the happiness that's not going away anytime soon.

no matter where i am lately, i'm finding the beauty in everyday life. kinda like ricky fitts,

It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing and there's this electricity in the air, you can almost hear it. And this bag was, like, dancing with me. Like a little kid begging me to play with it. For fifteen minutes. And that's the day I knew there was this entire life behind things, and... this incredibly benevolent force, that wanted me to know there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember... and I need to remember... Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in.

ok, so that's a little weird. not quite dancing with plastic bags yet, but you get the drift. there's bountiful wildflowers up here. wildlife like i've rarely seen. i still get excited at the graceful beauty of deer munching greenery in suburban front lawns, the sides of the highway. the sunlight glinting through the leaves at sunrise, or how it reflects off everyday objects at sunset.

i suppose it's partly due to my observant nature, which is even keener now with so much new hitting my optical nerve...

random movie quotes, wedding edition

wedding season is upon us, folks. after a phone call from a childhood friend yesterday afternoon, i tallied the number of weddings i'm going to in the next year or so. six, four of which are in the next four months, two in the next two weeks! most of them are pretty close, but two of mine will take me past state borders.

1) I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions?

2) Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam...and wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva...So tweasure your wuv.

3) Anything? Well, uh I guess I, deep down, am feeling a little confused. I mean, suddenly, you get married, and you're supposed to be this entirely different guy. I don't feel different. I mean, take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely. And uh, I happen to look over at a certain point during the meal and see a waitress taking an order, and I found myself wondering what color her underpants might be. Her panties. Uh, odds are they are probably basic white, cotton, underpants. But I sort of think well maybe they're silk panties, maybe it's a thong. Maybe it's something really cool that I don't even know about. You know, and uh, and I started feeling... what? what I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not?

ok, so they're all gimmes. go have a laugh.

"I'm making it look mean!"

netflix delivered a broken dvd for last night's movie night. seems they don't want me to watch any more tom hanks flicks. in our 80s movie blitz, we've managed two out of four excellent 80s tom hanks laughers.

"Well, I like you, and I want to spend the night with you."
"Do you mean sleep over?"
"Well, yeah."
"OK... but I get to be on top."



"Not that I'm complaining, but I usually don't like my filth this clean!"

last night was supposed to be number three.

"I don't understand. All my life I've been waiting for someone and when I find her, she's... she's a fish."

and the disc was broken. d'oh.

we settled for some horrible looking brothers playing old-time hockey like eddie shore and one of the funniest scenes EVER in a sports movie

movie time...

some from this weekend. name these fx and other flix...

1. "We don't need reparations! We need restraint!...Restraint"! Some discipline! Don't go out and buy a Range Rover when you livin' with your mama! And pay your mama some rent! And can we please, please, please try and teach our kids something other than the "Chronic" album? And please, Black people, try and be on time for something other than free before eleven at the club!

2. "No sugar? Damn. Y'all ain't never got two things that match. Either y'all got Kool-aid, no sugar. Peanut butter, no jelly. Ham, no burger. Daaamn."

3. "Ladies and gentlemen, you all have one thing in common: you're all being blackmailed. For some considerable time, all of you have been paying what you can afford, and in some cases MORE than you can afford, to someone who threatens to expose you. And NONE of you know WHO's blackmailing you. Do you?"

4. "I'm not the guy you kill. I'm the guy you buy! Are you so fucking blind that you don't even see what I am? I sold out Arthur for 80 grand. I'm your easiest problem and you're gonna kill me?"

5. "Oh, it's nobody's fault but my own! I was looking up... it was the nearest thing to heaven! You were there..."

and yes, that is quite a switch between the first three and the last two. using google is cheating. i was going to go in order of theatrical release, but i thought grouping them by ridiculousness and quintessential leading men would be better in light of the conversations i've had about each.

random movie quotes, part trois: christmas edition

name these flicks. some are certainly gimmes, but some are not necessarily christmas movies either.

1 "Okay, pork belly prices have been dropping all morning, which means that everybody is waiting for it to hit rock bottom, so they can buy low. Which means that the people who own the pork belly contracts are saying, "Hey, we're losing all our damn money, and Christmas is around the corner, and I ain't gonna have no money to buy my son the G.I. Joe with the kung-fu grip! And my wife ain't gonna f... my wife ain't gonna make love to me if I got no money!" So they're panicking right now, they're screaming "SELL! SELL!" to get out before the price keeps dropping. They're panicking out there right now, I can feel it."

2 "I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap; including all my major crevices; including in between my toes and in my belly button which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult formula shampoo and used cream rinse for that just-washed shine. I can't seem to find my toothbrush, so I'll pick one up when I go out today. Other than that, I'm in good shape."

3 "No! No! I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle!"

4 "Clarence! Clarence! Help me, Clarence! Get me back! Get me back, I don't care what happens to me! Get me back to my wife and kids! Help me Clarence, please! Please! I wanna live again. I wanna live again. Please, God, let me live again."

5 "You see, Mrs. Walker, this is quite an opportunity for me. For the past 50 years or so I've been getting more and more worried about Christmas. Seems we're all so busy trying to beat the other fellow in making things go faster and look shinier and cost less that Christmas and I are sort of getting lost in the shuffle."

movies, round 2

lately:
"Budster, there's a half-naked woman in your bedroom feeding pizza to some fish and she's all yours." (guaranteed unless you had HBO in the mid-90s, you have not seen this movie!)

"Welcome to Hollywood! What's your dream? Everybody comes here; this is Hollywood, land of dreams. Some dreams come true, some don't; but keep on dreamin' - this is Hollywood. Always time to dream, so keep on dreamin'." (women, I'll be utterly dumbfounded if'n you don't know this one. men, i'll be dumbfounded if you do).

"Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life. "

upcoming:
"The man from the moon. But I think you've killed him already." (if you don't know this one, do not pass go, do not collect $200, and for God's sake, get out from under that rock of yours and see an 80s classic!)

80s "cinema"

Thus far:

"Look, I like you, I really like you, but I gotta tell you, I have become seriously and emotionally involved with someone who isn't my aunt."

"First of all Rat, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie. Hi." Two, you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it." Now three, act like wherever you are, that's the place to be. "Isn't this great?" Four, when ordering food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. It's a classy move. "Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice." And five, now this is the most important, Rat. When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV."

"With Mogwai, comes much responsibility. I cannot sell him at any price."

name those 80s movies!

heat

i was looking for the intro to the pool scene from sandlot, where the kids are all playing ball and bitching about how flippin' hot it is. my a/c is running and i don't like it one bit. it was gainesville august-like today. 94 degrees. what the foxtrot!?

"The waters? What waters? We're in the desert."..."I was misinformed."
"It's so damn hot... milk was a bad choice."

Oh I wish...
"One day it started raining, and it didn't quit for four months. We been through every kind of rain there is. Little bitty stingin' rain... and big ol' fat rain. Rain that flew in sideways. And sometimes rain even seemed to come straight up from underneath."