Thursday, April 24, 2008

better than expected

following two or three great night's rest, i was beginning to feel a lot better. allergies kicking a little bit, but not to the extent that others are feeling it. after an evening chat with mercy, i'm back to what normal has been. happy go lucky, go with the flow. i'm deflecting the questions about whether or not i requested my move to third grade (i did) with a shoulder shrug, and "i'm flexible." the teammates are still upset, understandably after they have to "train" a new teacher each year. a comment that i find rather insulting, but i'm past that. on my afterschool run yesterday, i decided that i'm just going to keep trying to surround myself with positivity and ignore the negativity. will that make me seem aloof at work? perhaps, but complaining about shit doesn't fix it. do something to make yourself happy. if you don't like where you're at, change it. that seems to be the new theme in my life.

my personal life is great. nothing big doing this week. movies and such, just relaxing on the couch with her. long talks about nothing in particular. mercy commented that i seem to be a lot happier these days, in both my writings and when she talks to me. she said she's never known be to be this happy with anyone, and she's known me since grad school.

last week's stress lingering in my mind, i did have a fitful night's sleep last night. the rest this week helped ease me into the day. the second conference about the same student with the same mother went remarkably better. everyone was calmer, and we were able to discuss the other options for next year. everything's in motion now, hopefully we can get this child some much-needed help beyond what she's already getting. i don't like the feeling that i could irrevocably screw up a child's life with a wrong decision, but i do take solace in the fact that there is a lot more wisdom and experience backing me up and helping me along. i'll get through this stress, with a little help from my loved ones. thanks for listening, y'all.


Anonymous said...

I like what you wrote about taking action and being in control of your life by surrounding yourself with positivity and ignoring negativity. And I dont think that makes anyone appear to be aloof, ignorant, or insensitive. I believe it instead states that you are in control of what upsets you, and to what extent. We can't possibly live a happy life feeling the whole world's pain, but just of our own choosing.

Mr. J said...

Exactly. I feel enough pain and empathy for my friends without getting weighed down by my coworkers. Aloof was what I'd feel like, but less empathetic or sympathetic is also how I think I'd appear.