pay grade

i called it. among other insults directed at me, i knew shezad would say one in particular when he met this love, "you're dating out of your pay grade." not meant as an insult to me exactly, more of a compliment to her as who's got the good looks in this relationship. this was at the end of the night, however, after he'd gotten to know her over drinks at the cove.

last week, i read her the smart ass reply to my cousin's query about this mystery girl occupying my thoughts and dreams for most of my time in the district. she laughed, and asked why i've never really given much information about her on this here blog. well, the reason that came out was lame and a poor excuse for not sharing with the readers. i'm comfortable with sharing details about my life and adventures with those of you i know, and even a few i don't know. the same can't be said for those close to me, which is why i tend towards nicknames and abbreviations that those close to me would know, but few others.

here's the better reason, and the one that seems to be more accurate. it builds on the lame, incomplete answer i gave her. technology makes it easy to be lazy about keeping up with our friends. click here, click there, i can find out who's going to medical school in the u.k., whose daughter just turned two, and what couples broke up this week. i don't mind that with me. sure, i'd like to talk to my friends, but we all lead busy lives. that's a lame excuse for not calling, and i apologize for using it more often than i should. technology should not be used to find out critical information about our friends. conversations convey way more meaning than myspace or facebook could ever hope to. my closest friends know that. i get phone calls, or at the very least an email when i find out about engagements or pregnancies. you want to know about our first date? super, let me tell it with the laughs and smiling eyes that would accompany it when i orate. you want to know what we have in common? it's a different answer each day.

long story short, i'm happier than i've been in a long while, maybe ever. i'm more mature in this relationship and realistic about the struggles we may face. life isn't all gumdrops and jellybeans, and i'm no longer naive enough to think that. contrarily, i'm also no longer closed off and jaded. i'm open to whatever may come. i'm madly in love with this amazing woman, and i thank god each second i get to spend with her.

and that's all you're going to get on this. then again, those of you that have met her or talk to me know all that.